also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
Randomize