LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
Randomize
