all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
Randomize
