i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
Randomize
