I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
Welp last night I made out with the guy who slices my deli meat at publix. I'm sure there's a joke there but I'm too hungover to find it. Go noles.
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Randomize
