My liver just broke up with me...
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
Randomize