oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
I think you'll appreciate my way of waking up today: Under my cubicle, boxed in by boxes of printer paper, and hung over. I don't even know how the fuck I got in here in the middle of the night. I went to my car and fell back asleep. I'm now 2 1/2 hours late.
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
Randomize
