I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
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