WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
