i was just outside smoking and i saw a hooker sing "i wish i knew who your daddy was" to her new born baby. someone explain to me why i ever left chicago to go to college...
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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