question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
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