I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
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