jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
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