I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
Randomize
