I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
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