Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
you called me at 4 in the morning to tell me that your toaster burnt your english muffin, and that you "fuckin hated that thing."
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
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