just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
can u get pink eye on your cock?
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
Randomize
