Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
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