Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
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