We're like a lot better than the average bears
I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
Randomize
