my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
Randomize
