Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
the bastard is cheating on me with some sleazy barista from Starbucks
That’s his wife they’re back together
You say potato, I say sleazy barista
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