We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
Randomize
