The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
If I make it through this whole bridesmaid process without anyone knowing that I actually hate everyone but the bride, including the groom, I deserve a complimentary bottle of vodka.
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
Randomize
