I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
Randomize
