shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
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