Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
Randomize
