Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
Randomize
