My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
