So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
I have a voicemail from Mike at 1am. He starts to say something, but then throws up instead.
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
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