Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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