tell your sister to shave her snatch
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
Randomize
