Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
Randomize
