4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
Randomize
