Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize
