ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
Randomize
