I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
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