Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
and i looked up. we had an audience...
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
So apparently the bar gave out free condoms, which I now have a pocket full of. Why is drunk me shoving the fact that I'm single and not getting laid in sober me's face...
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
Randomize
