Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
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