Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
Why don't I have your new number? And who have I been texting?
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
