I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
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