Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
Randomize