I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
Randomize
