are you so shy because you have an std?
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Randomize
