Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
Just yelled out loud for someone to buy me a drink, 30 seconds later random guy on grindr asks what I'm drinking.
There's a 98% chance your drink will taste like rohypnol
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
Randomize
