You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
Randomize
