i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Randomize
