The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
Randomize
