Green mimosas i think yes
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
Randomize
