Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize