Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
Randomize
