White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
your like the ambassador to my penis.
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
Hello Officers/Paramedics, judging by last night, my friend is dead. The money in his pockets is mine, he owed me. Please send me directions to whichever morgue/strip club for pick up.
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
Randomize
