Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
Randomize
