There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
Randomize
