make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
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