Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
Randomize
