here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
I did not marry a roomba.
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