You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
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