So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Randomize
