you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
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