therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
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