I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
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