So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
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