OMG I just tried to text you something dirty but accidentally texted the obama campaign
My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Randomize