She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
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