after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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