i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
it's like iHOP with fire
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
Randomize
