You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Randomize
