You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
Randomize
