Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
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