Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
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