Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
You took a bar mat shot.
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
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