well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
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